Thrift Store Trauma

Today I was browsing through my nighborhood thrift store (because nothing gets me in the festive spirit like purchasing other people's tacky hand-me-down holiday goodies) and I came across a baby shark, preserved in a jar of formaldehyde, just sitting there among the Santa candles and sparkly ornaments...why?

Sunday Night Hypochondria Party

I have a pain in my armpit and another one in my lower right side area and a monstrous growth on my chin and I think it's probably virulent Ebola and I am concerned because I doubt my health insurance covers virulent Ebola considering they cover NOTHING.

Auntie Me

I grew up watching the movie Auntie Mame with my sister, dreaming of someday becoming Rosalind Russell, and today, although I am sadly minus the long cigarette holder, glamorous wardrobe, and husky laugh, I do have (courtesy of said sister) one real live nephew!

On the road

Coming home from work in the dark tonight, a wedge of golden moon floating in the sky like garnish in a starry martini, I almost forgot how much I loathe driving.

No more dirty mouth here

Today I had my long-overdue dental cleaning and was pleasantly surprised to find that my new dental hygienist does not seem to take the same sort of joy in prodding people's gums with sharp instruments that my former dental hygienist did.

Io non capisco

Why is it that when I'm driving and practicing Italian with my "Learn Italian Practically Overnight!(sucker) language CDs I sound like nothing so much as a lascivious bag lady with a pernicious drooling disorder?

Mimi and Me

My car, a silvery grey Sunfire with a laid-back and fun-loving disposition, has been officially christened "Mimi."